The Luck of the Devils
And ye, in any wise keep yourselves from the accursed thing,
lest ye make yourselves accursed … Joshua 6:18.
On a hazy night in ‘46
Satan met with his unholy tribe;
Now listen, you devils, he said with glee,
The entire world is about to transcribe.
They’ve invented a box they call TV;
Its shape is square, it has pictures and sound.
They practically kneel to its image;
Those fools think it’s really profound!
Can you imagine what this means to us?
Why, we’ll hardly need to lift our forks!
They don’t know how slick we are -
Those dolts believe we’re a bunch of dorks!
I can hardly believe this stroke of luck.
We’ll load the Board of Directables;
We’ll convince the world that evil is good
And have them think we’re respectables.
Dear me, Satan purred, I can hardly wait
To twist and turn and rationalize;
National Enquirer will have to fold -
We’ll steal the rights to sensationalize!
There’s one big fly in my appointment, though -
Some folks are saying I started this!
How can they accuse me of such a deed?
I’ve always treasoned with a wily kiss.
Only the foolish would be so blatant;
Why, I even cringe at some of the trash;
Surely we don’t need to throw it so hard…
We want them to fall, but not with a crash.
At first we’ll stress the family virtues:
Honesty, faith, and all that stuff;
We’ll give them new minds and hearts and goals
All pumped and primed with a lot of fluff.
And then we’ll start undressing the angels;
Stress that nudity is artistic fare.
We’ll make those goodies feel out of place.
Good heavens (or hell!), why be so square!
So do your worst, you little devils -
Make sure there’s a box in every home.
We can’t let slip this glorious chance
To write their names in our swelling tome!
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